Love or Career?
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March 18, 2021
Love vs. Career: the never-ending conundrum of life. When we have one, we seek the other; when we have neither, we feel empty, but can we ever really have both? After all, what fun is life if you have no one to share it with? And what is the point of life without purpose and passion?
It seems as though we all hit that crossroads in life, usually in our twenties. As a twenty four year old woman myself, I know I have had to make the decision before, as has my boyfriend. Of course, we discuss options, compromise, and make our own decisions, but isn’t there always the risk of resentment? I look at my role models and see that it is possible to have both, but one always has to come before the other. We must make a sacrifice somewhere in order to have it all.
My boyfriend and I have both made sacrifices after graduating from college. Right now, he is working a dead end job in an uneventful town in Florida while I stay at home and freelance for various magazines. We’d both love to pursue our careers, but I see myself in New York City, a place my significant other doesn’t particularly gravitate towards. I can’t keep putting my dreams on hold, but then again, it is scary to imagine a life all on my own.
I have friends who have moved across the country (and left jobs they loved) to be with their man; I have friends who have moved across the country to start over after a break up, and friends who accepted job offers across the country despite their current relationship. They all ended up longing for what they left behind, or a version of that at least.
So how do we decide which is more important? Should we ask the obvious “where do you see yourself in five years?” Make a list of pros and cons? Sadly, I don’t think it’s that simple. I think the only way to know for sure is to live and learn. Maybe that’s why this question never gets answered.
Have you ever had to make this tough decision? Any insight on how a girl can have it all?
September 15, 2012 @ 4:34 am
I think you will have to make that decision again and again in life, though it might turn into career or marriage, career or kids, career or health and so on.
But then I came to the conclusion that it’s probably just one more way that people drive themselves crazy. We have a saying that means “Comes time, comes solution”. Right now making a decision might be difficult, since you gravitate towards one thing, but don’t want to lose the other. But do you have to lose them? If it’s a stable love, probably not. If it’s not, then it would not have been worth giving up your career.
In my experience, and I am at the end of my twenties, the career thing gets old and loses its thrill, as does living in a certain city. And then one of you will probably move. Besides, these things also come and go in phases, one time your career is more important and another time something else. It balances itself out.
Comes time… and until then enjoy the ride.
September 15, 2012 @ 10:53 am
I know what you mean, although I don’t think I ever want to have kids, so that makes things a little easier. It seems tough right now because after college, you don’t really have a home and if you don’t start a career soon after graduation, employers will begin to pass up that empty resume. Someone’s going to have to make a sacrifice and living somewhere you hate is enough to drive you mad!
September 17, 2012 @ 1:50 pm
As soon as I saw the title my first thought was “you can have them both, it just takes time.” Success and Love are the two most risky ventures in life…it’s all or nothing and sometimes you have to take a chance at both more than once. Thus, the protective “Wall” debate, no one wants to approach something as important as love or success in the same manner that was used in a prior failed attempt. Once you have made an attempt at love or success you become more careful, guarded, and more focused on trying to get it right the next time around. As I stated before it takes time, it doesn’t mean all of your time, just some of your time. It’s a fine balance but it can be done….:)))
September 27, 2012 @ 1:34 pm
Yes, it seems like the two take turns at being a priority! It can be difficult to balance both! Thanks for your input 🙂
June 6, 2020 @ 12:53 pm
This is still a dilemma in 2020.
June 11, 2020 @ 4:25 pm
Well, I left that deadbeat dude to move to Atlanta and am way better off now for it!