The Comparison Game: Social Media vs Reality
This post may contain affiliate links, which help keep this blog up and running. Thank you for your support!
June 10, 2020
The Comparison Game. We all play it, whether we want to admit it or not. We all want to pretend we don’t care about what others think. But we do. And with social media, it’s easier than ever to get caught in the web of facades and filters.
Humans have been playing the comparison game for centuries. Remember the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses”? That was coined back in 1913, and it was nothing new then either. Comparing yourself to your peers is as old as time, but it has certainly changed with social media. Now, instead of viewing someone from the outside with your own eyes or what you hear through the grapevine, we’re able to get an “inside” view of someone’s life through their social media posts. The savviest of social media influencers will share a “candid” shot on a beach in Fiji or a fun girls night slumber party, cocktails in hand. In reality, these images are produced. And for what?
As an influencer myself, I often struggle with this paradox of sharing my true life and experiences and producing content that is eye-catching and attractive. I strive to inspire others through beautiful imagery and compelling captions, while also being authentic and relatable – aka real. I’ll be honest: I love sharing my outfits, beauty tips, and travels so that others can experience the wonderful things I do, but lots of times, I get caught up in actually living my life instead of capturing it for Instagram.
Which makes me wonder: if all these people are living a seemingly idyllic life, then why are they spending all their time in front of a screen? It is NOT EASY to post on Instagram the recommended one time per day. For me, all it does it force me to live my life around an app, and I’m not ok with that.
I recently went on a trip to San Fransisco. I didn’t get one “Instagram-worthy” photo, but I had an absolute blast – more fun, in fact, than I did in Scotland, where I got tons of photos. Of course, there is a balance; it is possible to have a great trip where you get some beautiful photos to share. But great photos absolutely do not equal a great trip. Just like a gushy lovey dovey post on Valentine’s Day does not equal a happy and healthy relationship.
I’ve taken a step in the right direction in my opinion. I’ve been posting less on Instagram and the blog; I’ve lost followers, and my engagement could be better. Why? Because I’m not living my life for Instagram anymore and I’m being punished by the platform. But when you look at my lack of posts, what you don’t see is all the laughs and happy times I’m having instead of staring at my phone. And guess what? Even though my number of posts has gone down, my income hasn’t. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life and while I do let the comparison game get to me every now and then, it’s happening less and less.
So the next time you find yourself comparing your beautiful all-encompassing reality with someone else’s produced snippet of their life, remember what you’re looking at. People show you want they want you to see.
How do you stop yourself from playing the comparison game?
Photo by Ryan Carpenter.
Gina Santamaria
February 13, 2019 @ 3:54 pm
I was SO happy to read this post! I often worry about exactly this with millennials, and especially those like you, whose job depends greatly on social media. Nobody likes to have dinner with someone who only looks up at them occasionally. Keep up living real life! Glad you have found a balance. Not easy!
XOXO
Megan
February 15, 2019 @ 6:37 am
Thank you so much, Mama!! It’s such a hard balance to find but I’m trying to really be intentional about it these days!! Love you! Xoxo
Stephanie
February 13, 2019 @ 7:22 pm
I think it’s important to remember that Instagram is a highlight reel and people – while sometimes actually post “real life” – mostly share the prettiest, most curated photos. That’s why I love stories, because they usually show more of the BTS of that person’s life (at least that’s how I utilize it) and that’s super cool!
Megan
February 15, 2019 @ 6:36 am
Omg yesss!! I love stories for that reason too! I’m always way more real, funny, natural etc on stories. So much more relaxed!
Kileen
February 14, 2019 @ 12:40 am
It is so easy to play the comparison game! I love this post, and I totally agree. Living in the moment is so important!
Kileen
cute & little
Megan
February 15, 2019 @ 6:35 am
It really is so easy!! Especially when we are so exposed to it every day! So glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
Erica Valentin
February 14, 2019 @ 8:53 am
Yes girl I agree 100% ….I always struggle with this. I think all too often we compare ourselves with everyone else and we forget that they are real people too and it takes a lot of work to post on IG every day. I beat myself up about this. Sometimes I can spend hours trying to plan the perfect shot and i get nothing ……I can go a week or more with out posting and I lose followers like crazy ……but Im really trying to not get wrapped up in that
Sometimes its better to just enjoy the moment and keep it in our own memories rather than trying to capture it to share with everyone else ya know!
Megan
February 15, 2019 @ 6:35 am
Yes! Exactly!! Even though we logically KNOW these shots are posed and staged, we still let it get to us! I think it’s so important to just step away sometimes and enjoy life rather than letting social media own us.
Nailil
February 17, 2019 @ 9:01 pm
This is something I often struggle with. I’ve had to reevaluate and focus on living in the moment, because trying to capture those Instagramable moments became exhausting.
Xx, Nailil
thirtyminusone.com
Megan
February 18, 2019 @ 7:47 am
Yes! I couldn’t agree more. It’s really easy to get caught up in the vicious cycle, but I can’t let life pass me by because I’m revolving my world around an app!
Deborah
February 18, 2019 @ 12:17 pm
I struggle with this too, sometimes. I am trying to be better at actually enjoying my experiences without feeling the need to record everything. Also, I decided this year that I’m just not going to care much about Instagram numbers. It was causing some stress in my life and I just don’t need that right now.
Megan
February 20, 2019 @ 11:04 am
I completely agree. Life is way too short to be revolving it around numbers and followers!