The Dealbreaker

March 18, 2021

Relationships are always a touchy subject. People want different things out of life and as we get older, more and more things come into play in relationships. We have to talk about major life choices, controversial topics and personal views in order to test the waters and see who we’re compatible with. By the time you’re 30, much of this happens on the first date. Women and men who want children make sure their potential mate agrees and those who need someone who goes to church every Sunday make their wishes known. The problem is, so many of us have a seemingly infinite list of dealbreakers that we forget what it’s all about. Do we just use these lists as a shield to avoid getting close to someone and eventually getting hurt? So many of us get wrapped up in planning out our futures with that perfect mate, that we forget to live in the present.

I have a friend who just recently stumbled upon having the marriage talk with her boyfriend. She wants to get married; he doesn’t. He said it is just not for him, no matter who the other person is. She knew this going in, but figured it’d change over time, much like the many stories she’d heard from other women. But what is it about marriage that makes us want it so badly? My friend says it’s the way she was raised. I say it’s the pressures of society.

So then what happens when we live in the present, fall in love and then discover the dealbreaker? What if we didn’t even know it was a dealbreaker to begin with? Well, I suppose that’s what dating is all about. Most people don’t marry their first love, but they learn a lot along the way.

What are your dealbreakers? What would you choose at a crossroad: love or dealbreaker?